It made me look at some things and made it clear about how I feel about some people.

I still love Colin. I have for two years now. He was my first boyfriend and there was something about being with him that made me love him and want to be with him. I think one of the hardest things right now is that I believe somewhere inside of him, he still loves me. Or I want to believe he does. But then, I'm not really sure he ever really loved me.

I love Brandon. Brandon is a great guy though he can be a little bit overwhelming at times. But he makes me happy and treats me well. I know that when he says he loves me, he truely means it. I love him but I don't think it's as strong as when I loved Colin but the difference is...I can grow to love Brandon as much and much more. I can see myself getting old and having kids.

But then I think of Colin...and things seem wishy washy all over again.